Paulette and Marc Wedding Banner

Multiple Choice Quiz:

A. Happy 12th Anniversary!

B. Canceled Trip to Martha’s Vineyard

C. Delayed Heart Drainage Surgery

D. All of the Above

Twelve years ago today was one of the most joy-filled days of my entire life. I married my love Marc Clinton at my home church in Buffalo, New York. My father officiated the ceremony that was attended by 400 of our closest friends and church family members. Our day was extraordinarily special, happy, and love-filled. It represented a union of love, family, and friendships that spanned the years.

Twelve years later here I sit, in a hospital bed at Yale New Haven Hospital, on a day when our family was supposed to be on vacation. We had planned a trip to Martha’s Vineyard with Marc’s cousins, Natalie and Marcus and their children. Gloriously, our son Amari was still able to take the trip, but without his parents. Unfortunately, I have been in the hospital since Thursday afternoon after a heart test showed some problems with fluid around my heart that needed to be drained. I had the procedure late on Friday.

After the procedure, the hope was that I would be able to return home. Sadly, that was not the case. Infections developed, more fluid was accumulating. The medical team decided that I needed an additional surgery. Originally scheduled for Sunday morning, it has had to be put off for two days due to infections.  Once I have the surgery, I will be in the hospital for five days. This is no way to spend our anniversary week.

It’s a really rough time for me right now. I don’t want to live like this. Always wondering, watching, waiting for what’s right around the corner. Fear of more pain, debilitation. My body has already been ravaged enough by this cancer. But I also don’t want to give up hope. So where does this leave us? Where does this lead us? It’s both. Walking through an earthly darkness to the everlasting light or walking through an earthly darkness to further stumbling blocks on this side of Creation.

My dear friends and loved ones, I know this is a short post, but with the help of my beloved friend of friends, Liz Testa, I thought needed to let you know what is going on.   

What do I need from you? Your love, your prayers, your support, your hope, your encouragement. What a difference twelve years makes. My son turns ten in three weeks. I turn fifty in five weeks. I want to celebrate both milestones. Only God knows if I will.

I would be remiss without acknowledging the concrete support of my amazing husband Marc, my sweet son, Amari, my beloved brother Derrick and his wife April, and my marvelous mother, Syb Thompson. Their roles in taking care of me have been invaluable, and I am grateful.

I love you all – I’m still on the journey - see you next time. 

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